"Affirmative Judaism"

[The following is an expansion on my Rosh Hashanah comments… it is still written in my delivery format -- my apologies if this makes it more challenging to follow]

“Affirmative Judaism” – Not a New Movement, but a New Moment

Commentary for the Start of a New Year, 5776

Rabbi Steve Weisman – Temple Solel, Bowie MD

Starting omens – 16^th year, 25 as Rabbi, 5776 – all perfect squares

            Back to the Future 2 – this is the year,

                        And in the movie, the Chicago Cubs win the World Series!

Contrast that with an honest and sobering look at the world –

headlines and realities scream out for our attention:

Iran deal                                    global warming

Gun violence                        immigration reform

#black lives matter            electoral rights and reform

Syrian refugees

            and so many more – indeed AJ4J and Iran vote

Our own realities as a congregational mishpachah and community

            Also require a greater amount of our time, energy and focus –

                        If not from all of us, at least from our leaders

            And let’s give ourselves permission to admit up front,

that none of us are looking forward to Yizkor this year

            b/c the number of friends and neighbors we lost this year

                        was painfully large

It is so very easy to get so caught up

in the needs and challenges of the moment

that we lose perspective,

and spend far too much time dwelling in the negative.

Don’t get me wrong – every one of these items

            And several dozen more that go unnamed for the moment

                        Deserve and require our attention and involvement.

                        Will hopefully receive appropriate focus in New Year

But, before we can be a congregation of caregivers to the world

            Fulfilling God’s first command to all of us thru Adam and Eve

            That we be good stewards of all of Creation,

Before we can fully embrace the imperative to work for tikkun olam

We must, as all good caregivers do,

            Remember to take time for ourselves,

maintain equilibrium, make sure we are strong,

                        B/c if we cannot maintain our own strength and wellness

                        We will be no good trying to help others.

This, to me, is one of our gifts as Jews,

            But one that too often gets lost, or overlooked

                        Judaism allows, maybe even requires us,

                                    To take time for ourselves

                                    To maintain both strength and balanced perspective

These HHDs, especially this RH

            Can be, and now more than ever, needs to be

            A moment of our personal and communal

                        Spiritual recharge.

As Hillel taught – Im ein ani li mi li… If I am only for myself…

            Friends, this season is the now of our Jewish year,

                        These HHDs feel like the now of our time and circumstances

This is the world’s birthday, after all

            As we will remind ourselves in the morning

                        As we fulfill the mitzvah to hear the sound of the shofar.

Birthdays are times of joy, and celebration – first and foremost.

They are also times of looking back at where we have been,

Of sharing our joy with those closest to us,

But also times of looking ahead – with hope, and vigor

            And the excitement of what lies ahead in the new year.

FB has changed how we do birthdays –

            For myself, at least, I marvel at how much they are improved.

            Several hundred people, from every corner of our lifetimes,

                        Reach out and stir up memory and connection,

                        THAT is a real-life blessing!

My standard wishes, for those who are closest to me,

as expressed in that medium, read like an RH card.

And, as is often the case, recognizing this changed reality as a truth

            Has allowed me to shift my understandings and behaviors

                        In other areas as well.

So even as I acknowledge that there are many needs in our world --

            Both uniquely Jewish and at times frighteningly universal

                        (and we will look at THAT balancing act on YK) –

            needs that require our attention,

Even as my own prophetically-inspired Reform Jewish soul

            Hears the cries, and yearns to reach out in response and support,

Even as we all acknowledge the need for our hope that

            5776 will be a better year for the Solel family than 5775 was,

I KNOW that our first act of the new year MUST be

            To embrace the joy, and hope, and celebration of the New Year

                        Especially with the great positive omens this year,

And to use this opportunity for a spiritual recharge and refocus,

            When that reminds us of all the positives in our lives,

                        Encourages us to add to them, and maintain our balance

In many congregations on these HHDs, there is a natural excitement –

            For some, new clergy leadership or other changes are the source;

            For others, it is the new possibilities and opportunities

                        Inherent in the shift of prayerbooks to Mishkan HaNefesh

For others, like ours, we need to create that excitement for ourselves –

            Playing on both the (hoped-for) comfort of the familiar,

            & the natural hope & excitement that comes from new beginnings.

We will turn to challenging ourselves more on YK – as is fitting

            Of course, for those who cannot wait,

there is plenty of material available on the lobby tables

plenty of ways to choose to get more involved

            to begin to make more of a difference.

Embrace the comfortable and familiar – but do not be fooled by it…

            We are in the midst of change – significant change

                        In no small part because the larger world

of which we actively choose to be a part

            is changing with frightening speed.

Many of us joke and say that we don’t do change well as a congregation

But I am here tonight to speak to that no longer being the truth…

            It may have been true, even a few years ago,

            But we are a very different congregation tonight

                        In a very different world

at the start of this new year

than we were even a couple of years ago

            at the start of our 50^th!

And the best part is, much of that change happened quietly enough,

            Smoothly enough, with little or no drama,

            That many of us are surprised when we recognize the truth.

That, and the reassuring fact that, most of that change has been

            Both deliberate, and for the better,

            Evolutionary, not revolutionary,

With still other elements in the process of changing even as we speak.

Our world is changing.  Daily.  Sometimes by the hour.

Our Reform movement has changed and is changing.

That our congregation is in the midst of change is both needed and good

And, with the arrival of these HHDs,

we seek, thru atonement, to change ourselves!

To help us tonight, I would like to propose a significant change

in how we refer to and see ourselves as Jews.

I do so NOT to seek to create a new form of Judaism,

            But rather to reflect who I believe we already are

and who and what we seek to be,

as Jews, as members of the Solel family,

for most of us still as Reform identifying Jews.

It is only a little more than a decade since our movement changed name

            UAHC à URJ, WRJ and NFTY (and regions) before that

                        To reflect changing times & sensitivities,

who we had already become.

We still are, and will continue to be, a SOLEL –

and even if we did not originally chose the name

            for all of its political and philosophical implications,

            we embrace still the ideal of being trailblazers

                        building ramparts in the (relative) Jewish wilderness.

And be clear – Reform still carries great meaning and power

            I am not running from that identity,

                        But rather, hoping to strengthen it

                                    By making myself and others think about

What it really says about us and others.

Indeed, I have rarely been prouder to call myself a Reform Rabbi

            Than in the last few weeks,

                        With our statement on the Iran deal, and AJ4J.

But I am also aware that, for many, both scholars & the next generation,

            We live in a post-denominational world.

And therefore, I need to be able to express myself for who I am,

            And hopefully you will come along,

so we can do likewise as a community,

                                    Without the baggage of labels

                                    That may not be as positive to others

                                                As they are to me or you.

If we can find language that more accurately reflects

who we already are,

who and what we take pride in being,

            doesn’t that strengthen us?

If that same language also makes it easier

            For others to see value in who we are,

            Removes stumbling blocks and makes them want to join us,

                        Then it is even better!

So, starting tonight, in this new year,

            You will hear me start to refer

                        At least to myself, at first,

                                    As an “Affirmative Jew,” and “Affirmative Rabbi.”

And, if I am correct in this, as I believe I am,

            I hope we will begin to see ourselves and call ourselves

                        An “Affirmative Jewish Community”!

As with all well-managed change, for me at least,

            This is NOT nearly as revolutionary as it may sound at first.

            But rather, the product of natural evolution over time.

“Affirmative,” as descriptive of my Judaism, works in (at least) 3 ways:

First, it is a statement that one of the perpetual goals of my Jewishness

            Is to affirm the history and values, laws and teachings

                        Of 3500 years + of Jewish tradition

                        On who I am and wish to be

            Even as I struggle to re-imagine how Judaism should look today,

For myself and others.

Second, it affirms Judaism as a “way of life,”

            More than just a religion, or culture, or ethnicity

And ergo, that there are multiple valid ways of being Jewish.

Few of us, as individuals, start by embracing Judaism as a way of life.

Rather, as individuals, we see it is primarily, if not exclusively,

            As one, maybe two out of religion, culture, or ethnicity.

Therefore I seek to be more than inclusive,

            More than respectful or tolerant,

                        But truly accepting of and open to

new and different ideas and identities from my own,

that allow others to care, feel and do Jewish, as I do;

            Accepting others’ self-definitions,

                        Even when wildly different from my own,

                        Even as I maintain that connection to our past

                                    Individually, communally, historically, practically,

                                    By valuing k’lal Yis’ra’eil –

The unity and totality of the Jewish people;

            Even more important, accept them for who they are,

                        Not automatically seeking to change them to my definition,

                                    But genuinely offering opportunities

                                                To those who seek them.

Third, by embracing these truths, and focusing on Jewish values

            I seek to develop a Judaism that allows me

                        To see the world, and be seen by the world

                                    In the affirmative – as a positive force and value.

Here are some of the things that do NOT change for me

in embracing this new descriptive:

1.    Being American defines my Jewishness

2.    Being Jewish defines me as an American

3.    BOTH define who I am as a person

As an Affirmative Jew, I take ownership of these truths

            And their implications,

                        Even the ones that create cognitive dissonance at times.

I do so POSITIVELY, and proactively,

            Defining and AFFIRMing the person they make me,

            The community they lead me to seek, build, and be part of,

            Refusing to allow others to define me negatively or passively.

2 E.G.s -- I am a Choveiv Tzion – a lover and supporter of Israel –

            BY MY OWN CHOICE, and ON MY OWN TERMS,

                        Which at this moment is neither AIPAC nor J Street,

                                    But still stridently pro-Israel.

My love and support for Israel must be, empirically,

            Different from someone who lives there,

                        For their experience is different,

                        And therefore, so must their priorities be.

But, that difference does not mean

            They are more authentic than I – in most things,

That they are automatically more (often) correct than I am.

It DOES mean their voice must count more

            On existential matters within their community,

            Just as mine must count more than theirs,

                        On essential matters to my community.

Not because one of us is right, and the other is not,

But rather, because of our different positions in different places.

Put practically, as a person who is an American, and who is Jewish,

            I value true peace more highly than almost anything,

                        And therefore, my tendency is to prefer

                                    A negotiated agreement over going to war.

As an American,

I recognize that there are opportunities and responsibilities

            Unique to our country,

            That require us to act in certain ways

                        For ourselves and others.

As a Jew, and a Choveiv Tzion,

            The survival of Israel and its prosperity

                        Matter more to me than to many other Americans & others.

Acting on any of these three identities alone in the current reality

            Is likely to take me to two, maybe three, different results.

Acting on them all together, obligates me to compromise between them,

            Harmonize differences,

                        And come to the consensus that best represents

                                    Each individually and all together.

Likewise, I am a Jew who chooses to live in the open society,

            And not in homogeneous, self-selecting, closed communities.

I accept that those who make the other choice have their reasons,

            And I pray that their decisions

                        Work as well for them as mine do for me,

                        Even if, when I am being honest, most of the time

                                    I must admit that I cannot see how they could,

                                    Because of my different experience,

                                    Because of my unwillingness to make their choice.

I am challenged by living as a Jew in the larger society,

            But those challenges are a positive choice I affirm daily

                        A force for growth and strength to be embraced

                                    Not to be feared and run from.

But I am a JEW who lives in that open society,

            And therefore HOW I choose to live as part of it,

                        Will, at times, differ from the ways of my neighbors,

                        When I embrace my Jewish learning, experience, history

            That truth makes neither I nor my neighbor right nor wrong,

                        Neither is better than the other.

                                    Just different.

And, as Mark Twain once so eloquently put it:

““If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary. 

Even though some of us disagree on the ______ issue,

each of us is necessary in reaching a resolution.”

Here are some more things that do not change for me

            As I embrace my new moniker,

                        Because I came to my positions on them

                                    By already being a positive, engaged, affirmative Jew

Even before embracing the language:

4.    God, Torah, and Israel are central elements

Of Judaism, and bind us to each other

5.    How I interpret them,

and value them relative to each other

            is a product of my unique experience,

            helps to define me as a distinctive Jew,

            and distinguishes me from other Jews,

even as they bind us together as one family.

6.    I embrace a Prophetic view of my role as a Jew --

placing the spirit of the law above letter

            when the two are in conflict,

providing Jewish motivation for all that I do,

encouraging me to find meaning in all that I do.

7.    This encourages me to do tikkun olam

To be “God’s shepherd” in tending to all Creation

            And to my fellow human beings

Not for myself, but to repair God’s world

            And improve everyone’s lot in it.

8.    This also encourages me to live my Judaism

In relationship with others,

            Both Jews and non-Jews.

                                    Indeed, my Affirmative Judaism, our Judaism,

                                                Is often most strongly defined, motivated,

                                                Most positively lived

THRU these relationships.

Again – what emerges is AFFIRMATIVE –

            It helps me to see the world through positive eyes;

            It encourages me to take action;

            It allows me to do so in a way that connects me to the past,

                        Even as I strive to live in the present & embrace the future.

And one last set of truths, somewhat unique to me,

            But concepts I have already been placing at the forefront

                        Of who I hope we become, and maybe already are

                                    As a mishpachah – an extended family of support

                                    As a k’hillah k’doshah – a sacred community.

9.    Because I see my Judaism, affirmatively,

As a “way of life,”

            Far more than just religion, culture, or people

I also see it, and the larger world,

            holistically

10.         This leads me to seek not only healing,

For that which is not whole,

For what has become worn down or broken

            In myself, my family,

            My community, my world

                                    But also WELLNESS –

                                                A combination of the physical, mental,

                                                            Emotional, and spiritual

                                                That allows me to interact on multiple levels.

                                                Like my Jewishness,

it is greater than the sum of its parts,

                                                which allows me, at times,

to pre-empt the need for healing

from external sources,

                                                By affirming my own strength,

                                                            And reinforcing it,

                                                Even as I seek to help others

to do the same for themselves,

                                                                        individually and communally

11.         As I help to build the community,

It helps me recognize 3 truths

about my own personal motives:

A.   My need to be loved, respected, accepted

For who I am,

            And who I seek to be

B.   My need to make sense of the chaos

Of the world all around us

And within myself

C.    My need to leave a legacy behind

That tells others that I was here

            And hopefully made the world

                        A little better for it

                        12.              And to recognize these 3 truths

                                                            In all those with whom I work

                                                Empowering me to recognize, support

                                                            And empower them

                                                Just as I hope and need to be.

Friends, as we start the New Year 5776

            I embrace who I am and who I have become

                        As an AFFIRMATIVE Jew.

I am empowered not only by new language, by a new name,

            But by the process of introspection and affirmation

                        Which led me to dare to suggest it in public.

I hope that we all can recognize, both in my words and in my process,

            That each of us, too, either already is, or seeks to be,

                        An Affirmative Jew.

And even if we do not (yet) recognize ourselves in this way,

            I hope we can agree that this IS a significant goal

                        towards which to work – individually and collectively.

And, at the very least, even if that is still not on our horizons,

            I pray that we will recognize

                        In the process of introspection we each took to get here

                                    so central to our atonement-seeking at this season,

                        The value of recognizing the positive,

                                    And not just the negative,

not just for its own sake of being positive,

                                                not in some pollyannish “all is well” denial,

            But for the awesome power that comes when we allow ourselves

                        To grow not only in learning from and correcting mistakes

                        But in moving ourselves from strength to strength,

                                    From good, to even better, to [dare for] greatness.

                        To moving ourselves nearer to the best that is in us,

                                    And closer to each other,

                        By seeking and finding the spark of God

                                    That dwells in each of our souls.

            So that, by growing closer to each other, and our best,

                        We also draw closer to God,

                                    Not just at this season of our justifying our lives,

                                    But every day!

I made a conscious decision with my words tonight,

to speak for myself as an Affirmative Jew,

Both because what I suggest may not yet feel right to many,

But also so my words could model my message and my approach.

For those who found this helpful, I am grateful,

For those who found that decision made it harder to hear my message,

            My profound apologies.  I pray to do better on YK,

                        On this, and so many other things!

As I point out every time I do a wedding –

            1 + 1 can and does equal three,

                        when two (or more) individuals seek to come together,

                        and become a group, united with each other.

            The strength and success of the united group is dependent on

                        The continued strength of each individual.

            It cannot extinguish that individual strength,

                        But rather, grow it stronger by teaching it only

                                    To self-limit for the sake of the united whole.

May our 5776 start in joy, peace, and hope,

            Allowing us to begin the new year positive and strong,

                        Affirming our Jewishness – as individuals and as a group,

            So we can confront the challenges we face

                        In working towards perfection for ourselves and our world

                                    Like the perfection of the square in 5776,

                        With full vigor of body and soul, of spirit and mind,

                        Positive and affirming in all that we think, say and do.  KYR